I am in a funk today. Grumpy at people in general. Easily annoyed. Frustrated. I don't like feeling this way. When I feel this way I want to quit everything, tell everyone 'no' and run away. I don't though. Usually I buoy myself up with positive self-talk, chocolate, and quotes that speak to me. This time though, I'm thinking about why. Here's what I have figured out. I'm a feeler. I feel everything for everyone. I carry burdens for people and I have a strong sense of right and wrong. When people hurt me or frustrate me or things don't go quite the way I think they should I'm OK. Except when those things start to all pile up at one time...then I get into a funk. The worst part is my (very human) tendency to assign blame for my funk to others. "If *they* would just...", "If *she* would stop....", and similar statements run through my mind. Yesterday I happened upon this article that someone shared on Facebook and since then I have spent a lot of time thinking about this. Two quotes stood out to me from the article. The first, "The truth is that people are not actually toxic. What is toxic is your reaction to them." is almost enough to stop me in my cranky thoughts path. Wait! It's so much easier (not to mention more comfortable) to blame *them*. The trouble with blaming though, is that it limits our ability to change the circumstances. When we accept the responsibility for our reaction to the circumstances that are making us unhappy, then we empower ourselves to change those reactions. As the author put it, "You have to teach people how to get along with you..." This little snippet has given me great hope today! Of course I do! How to people know they've offended me/annoyed me/irritated me if I don't let them know? It doesn't have to be confrontational, but I can kindly set some limits on what people say to me and ask of me. I can choose to be honored to be asked (even if I politely decline) rather than annoyed that I'm feeling imposed upon.
All of this makes me think about this great little video that was popular last fall. Watch it.
This is Water from Patrick Buckley on Vimeo.